Tuna
by MsMorg
Summary: This one-shot is just a quick, banter-filled piece... Someone misheard the sneak peek for 6x12 ... Hilarity ensued. Read, laugh, review.


**AN: For Dia, you crazy, hard of hearing, hilarious lady.**

* * *

It all started with a misunderstanding.

"What if I want to marry you, Tuna?" Kate asked, or at least he thought that's what she asked, she had also grabbed his ass pretty hard, and he was more focused on that than her words.

"Did you just call me Tuna?" He questioned, completely confused.

"What? No!" She blurted.

"What did you say then?" He turned toward her, one eyebrow raised.

"I said 'What if I want to marry you sooner?'" She repeated.

"Sorry, I guess that gratuitous ass grab distracted me from the point you were trying to make," he declared with a shrug.

"Why would I call you Tuna?" Her eyes were alight with mirth.

"I don't know! Because I yelled 'Holy Mackerel!' last night when you surprised me?" He guessed.

"I don't know, I could think of something better," she thought for a moment, "maybe Bluefin?" She quirked a smile before moving in, running her hands up his chest, and whispering in his ear, "You know, with the way you were kind of making a fin last night…" She trailed off and bit his earlobe gently.

"I don't know, I think if anything, you should call me Big Kahuna," he recovered spectacularly.

"Nah, that would be too complimentary, maybe something more like 'Chicken of the Sea'," she smirked at him.

"Ouch Beckett, ouch," he pouted.

"Come on Rick, you know I'm only teasing… actually, I kind of like Big Kahuna," she bit her lip, enticingly.

"Really?" He looked on in surprise.

"Sure, but if you buy a tuna costume, I will not indulge you in that fantasy," she pulled back and gave him a serious look.

"Do you really think I would limit my body movement with such a restrictive costume?" He countered, wiggling against her a little. "No, no… but the mermaid outfit might be kind of hot on you, Tuna," he winked.

"Oh, so you're going to turn this whole thing back around on me, huh?" She narrowed her eyes.

"Of course! It's what I do best!" He teased.

"I can think of some things you do better…" She winked.

"Oh, do tell," he urged, pulling her closer with handfuls of her ass.

"Well, most of them would be kind of difficult in a mermaid outfit," she hedged, kissing his neck.

"Right, we can scrap that… or- maybe just the bottom half, the top is doable… Oh! Better yet, we could just paint on the scales on the bottom half," he rambled excitedly, pulling back and making her do a twirl.

"Babe, let's be reasonable." She patted him on the chest, "I'll wear the seashell bikini, but we both know that painting on the scales would take forever, and you would not want to wait that long. Remember last time?" She raised an eyebrow.

"How could I forget the last time?" He pulled back, staring at her in mock horror, "I thought you were going to kill me!"

"Hey, it's not my fault, you didn't ask me to wear a specific costume, so the mask was fair game," she smirked. "Anyway, the point was, you sat there asking me if I was dressed yet every five seconds, you couldn't wait for me to paint on the scales," she shook her head at the memory.

"Yes, that's true. I am rather impatient," he nodded in agreement.

"So am I. So- how about May?" She sprang on him suddenly.

"What about May?" He asked, genuinely confused again.

"Keep up here Castle, the wedding, May?" She rolled her eyes, feigning exasperation.

"God, I love you," he kissed her forehead. "Did you plot out that whole conversation just to play on my impatience?" He grinned down at her.

"Not in the slightest, that tangent was all your own," she shook her head. "I was about to say May before you brought up the whole Scombridae family," she threw out there.

"W-what?" He stammered. "How and why do you know the phylogeny of the tuna?" He finally got out.

"I did a project in high school, don't worry about it," she shrugged it off.

"Oh, so you're going keep that cute little story to yourself?" He pulled her back into his chest, kissing the top of her head again. "What if I were to beg?" He squeezed her tighter, "Or threaten to squeeze it out of you?"

"Yeah, I am. Just let it go for now. We need to nail down a date first," she thumped her head against his chest.

"If you think we can pull it together that fast, May sounds excellent," he smiled, kissing the top of her head again.

She looked up at him, thinking for a moment. "It's not like it has to be some huge affair, family and friends, somewhere private- away from the prying eyes of the press," she listed.

"I know just the place!" He exclaimed.

"Don't say space, I _will_ smack you," she let out a sigh with her threat.

"If it's my ass again, Sp-" He began before she slapped a hand over his mouth.

She leveled him with a look, "Seriously, where?" She let the hand drop away.

"The house in the Hamptons! We could have the wedding on the beach, the reception out on the back lawn…" He trailed off, letting her picture it for herself.

"That sounds perfect," she grinned up at him with wide, excited eyes.

"Plus, if we do it near the ocean, you could even wear some seashells!" He winked.

"In your dreams, Tuna," she smirked, smacking his ass again.

"Always," he kissed her lips lightly.

* * *

**AN- Hey, this was short and sweet for a reason… because…**

**I am a lame individual who has early morning classes…**

**I felt that was a natural ending point…**

**There are only so many Tuna related jokes a gal can come up with…**

**(Okay, so I have more written down in my notebook…)**

**Uh… Yeah, I've got nothing.**

**Anyway… Uh… Yeah. I'll see you guys later… Don't forget to review it… :P (Stalk me on Twitter all you want msmorg)**

**(No ownership claims here!)**

**~Morgen**


End file.
